Pause for a moment to witness the changing colours in life
Cockney is the term used to describe a
Londoner. Not just any Londoner, but one born in the East End. To be specific,
to qualify as a cockney, you must have been born within the sound of the Bow
Bells, i.e. within the sound of a specific church's bells.
A colourful quarter of England's capital city, with street traders, pearly Kings and Queens, and a language all of its own. Cockney rhyming slang was invented as a means of communication between cockneys that was almost incoherent to any outsider within earshot. In the past, it could be used to "rip-off" any unsuspecting tourist, as it was widespread in the open air market places and amongst taxi drivers.
Many of these words have become more common place within the rest of the UK. For Example I would often say that I was going up the apples. This means going up the stairs (Apples & Pears…Stairs). Cockney rhyming slang is a living language, constantly increasing its vocabulary to take into account more modern words. As the English Oxford dictionary is progressively brought up to date, so the cockney rhyming slang verbal dictionary is also amended.
Now as a simplified exercise, can you understand the narrative below in green?
I plimsoll marked the jam jar at the rear of the rub-a-dub, walked into the jack tar hoping to find John. I ordered a pigs ear with a gold watch chaser. "I would also like an itchy teeth or failing that a stand at ease sandwich", says I.
"Sorry" says the barman, "we only have cash left".
"OK that will have to do" I replied. "Do you have a jack the ripper on today"?.
"Sorry" says the barman, "we did have but she had to Scapa Flow".
"Will you take a nervous wreck"? I ask. "No" says the barman, "you could be a Queen mum, dot and dash only". "Ok" says I ordering 20 toe rags and a dogs eye as well. I saw Dave at a table, and went over to join him. "have you seen John" I asked.
John! Exclaimed Dave, "That little critter was coming off the oxo cube when a bottle and stopper pulled him over for a top hat". John tried to keep a straight boat race and says to the grasshopper "all I am doing is going for a Ruby".
"The Pittsburgh Steeler searches his weasel and stoat and finds he is in possession of Bob Hope". "So John is in a right slit in the dress and is now in the flowery dell at the local rusty nail". "His bread knife ain't going to be too pleased cause they ain't been cash and carried for long and she is still in rubber".
"OK" says I as I down the sink and Scapa Flow, as I really should stay off the Tom Cruise.
The English translation is below for all who remain
mystified.
I plimsoll marked (parked) the jam jar (car) at the rear of the rub-a-dub (pub), walked into the jack tar (bar) hoping to find John. I ordered a pigs ear (beer) with a gold watch (scotch) chaser. "I would also like an itchy teeth (beef) or failing that a stand at ease (cheese) sandwich" says I.
"Sorry" says the barman, "we only have cash (sausage and mash) left". "OK that will have to do" I replied. "Do you have a jack the ripper (stripper) on today"?. "Sorry" says the barman, "we did have but she had to Scapa Flow" (go).
"Will you take a nervous wreck"? (cheque) I ask. "No" says the barman,
"you could be a Queen mum (Bum), dot and dash (cash) only". "Ok" says I ordering 20 toe rags (fags--cigarettes) and a dogs
eye (meat pie) as well. I
saw Dave at a table, and went over to join him. "have you seen John" I
asked.
John! Exclaimed Dave, "That little critter (bullshitter) was coming off the oxo cube (tube) when a bottle and stopper (copper--policeman) pulled him over for a top hat (chat)". John tried to keep a straight boat race (face) and says to the grasshopper (copper--policeman) "all I am doing is going for a Ruby Murray" (curry).
"The Pittsburgh Steeler (Peeler--Police) searches his weasel and stoat (coat) and finds he is in possession of Bob Hope" (dope). "So John is in a right slit in the dress (mess) and is now in the flowery dell (prison cell) at the local rusty nail (jail)". "His bread knife (wife) ain't going to be too pleased cause they ain't been cash and carried (married) for long and she is still in rubber glove (love)"
"OK" says I as I down the sink (drink) and Scapa Flow (go), as I really should stay off the Tom Cruise (booze).
