Greetings From The UK
Measuring Up To An Englishman
A light hearted look at the arrogant English
A light hearted look at the arrogant English
The English measure weights in Ounces, Pounds, Stones & Tonnes, a very simple system. With 16 oz to the pound and 14 Lbs. to a Stone and 2,240 Lbs. to a Ton.
There was no need for pocket calculators for they could not handle such a simple system. We purchased potatoes and coal by the hundred weight (Cwt) & expected to receive 20 bags for each ton.
Precious metals are measured in troy ounces of which 12 make a pound, except for gold which is measured in carats, and carrots are purchased by the Stone.
Foreigners could never understand such a system, but we are after all an Island race so it was of no concern.
Metrification introduced Grams and Kilos. We ask for a 2 LB bag of sugar and receive a Kilo, looks the same but costs considerably more ?.
We now have a metric Tonne, a longer word but a shorter measure, who now knows the weight of coal delivered and why does it cost more.
Eggs are not weighed but sold by the dozen, and now are becoming 10 packs (metric) at the same price. What happened to the good old fashioned Bakers dozen which was 13?. In those days it was a crime to sell underweight.
People are weighed in Stones & pounds whilst another scale is slowly being introduced onto the Bathroom Scales, that of Kilos. This allows us all to lose weight instantly.
Americans state their weight in pounds and always appear much heavier, perhaps this is because they have more space to expand in ?.
We expect healthy babies to arrive, in between 7 & 9 Lbs., not some ridiculous figure quoted in Grams.
We still have paperweights, will they become decimalised ?.
We now have milligrams (0.015 grains), Centigrams, Decigrams, and even those Foreigners the Europeans cannot explain, what the hell is a Hectogram ?
Life was much simpler and far more satisfying when a Megabyte was a large bite from a jam sandwich.
Why all this confusion you may well ask, well consider perhaps God is a Woman
Not a lot of people knows that.... as Michael Caine would say
No wonder that we lost an empire
There was no need for pocket calculators for they could not handle such a simple system. We purchased potatoes and coal by the hundred weight (Cwt) & expected to receive 20 bags for each ton.
Precious metals are measured in troy ounces of which 12 make a pound, except for gold which is measured in carats, and carrots are purchased by the Stone.
Foreigners could never understand such a system, but we are after all an Island race so it was of no concern.
Metrification introduced Grams and Kilos. We ask for a 2 LB bag of sugar and receive a Kilo, looks the same but costs considerably more ?.
We now have a metric Tonne, a longer word but a shorter measure, who now knows the weight of coal delivered and why does it cost more.
Eggs are not weighed but sold by the dozen, and now are becoming 10 packs (metric) at the same price. What happened to the good old fashioned Bakers dozen which was 13?. In those days it was a crime to sell underweight.
People are weighed in Stones & pounds whilst another scale is slowly being introduced onto the Bathroom Scales, that of Kilos. This allows us all to lose weight instantly.
Americans state their weight in pounds and always appear much heavier, perhaps this is because they have more space to expand in ?.
We expect healthy babies to arrive, in between 7 & 9 Lbs., not some ridiculous figure quoted in Grams.
We still have paperweights, will they become decimalised ?.
We now have milligrams (0.015 grains), Centigrams, Decigrams, and even those Foreigners the Europeans cannot explain, what the hell is a Hectogram ?
Life was much simpler and far more satisfying when a Megabyte was a large bite from a jam sandwich.
Why all this confusion you may well ask, well consider perhaps God is a Woman
Not a lot of people knows that.... as Michael Caine would say
No wonder that we lost an empire
Simply Steve
