Greetings From The UK
Measuring Up To An Englishman
A light hearted look at the arrogant English
A light hearted look at the arrogant English
The English measure in inches, feet, yards, chains, furlongs & miles.
Where 36 inches make a yard and there are 8 furlongs in the mile horse race. A chain (I think) is the length of a cricket pitch, a very simple game that has been covered earlier in order to explain the rules to foreigners.
Since metrification the English also measure in millimetres (25.4 to the inch), centimetres (30 to a foot), Metres (3 feet, 3 inches) and Kilometres (Only god knows the real size of that).
Torque is measured in LBS/Ft or Kilo/Newton's, whilst aircraft fly at altitudes measured in feet. Engineers measure in thousands of an inch or in microns and everyone knows that a micron is 0.00004 of an inch. No not a Micron computer they are a wee bit bigger
Confused! At sea we measure depth in Fathoms, If you can fathom that out?.
At the time of metrification, one particular Royal Navy Officer, having been given the extra responsibility for the changeover, withdrew all 6 inch steel rules from the Technicians toolboxes, had an inch cut off to ensure that it would divide into 10. This enabled the Navy to use a metric inch measurement.
Where land is concerned we measure in Rods, with Acres & Hectors forming the primary area measurements. Ordnance Survey maps show elevation in feet but are slowly changing over to metres, this is to provide the pilot with a valid excuse when he fly's into the side of the mountain.
Suits are purchased in chest & waist measurement sizes in Short, Regular or Long, what ever that means and shirts are categorised by collar sizes. Shoes have a code all of their own, to which there is no point learning as those Foreigners the Europeans are intent on changing
The sizes that really matter have not changed as every young mans dream is to get his hands on a 38-24-36 body. Convert that to metric and it does not have the same appeal. Bust sizes are measured alphabetically with a DD providing something to bury your head in and shut out this crazy world.
Why all this confusion you may well ask, well consider perhaps God is a Woman
Not a lot of people knows that.... as Michael Caine would say
No wonder that we lost an empire
Where 36 inches make a yard and there are 8 furlongs in the mile horse race. A chain (I think) is the length of a cricket pitch, a very simple game that has been covered earlier in order to explain the rules to foreigners.
Since metrification the English also measure in millimetres (25.4 to the inch), centimetres (30 to a foot), Metres (3 feet, 3 inches) and Kilometres (Only god knows the real size of that).
Torque is measured in LBS/Ft or Kilo/Newton's, whilst aircraft fly at altitudes measured in feet. Engineers measure in thousands of an inch or in microns and everyone knows that a micron is 0.00004 of an inch. No not a Micron computer they are a wee bit bigger
Confused! At sea we measure depth in Fathoms, If you can fathom that out?.
At the time of metrification, one particular Royal Navy Officer, having been given the extra responsibility for the changeover, withdrew all 6 inch steel rules from the Technicians toolboxes, had an inch cut off to ensure that it would divide into 10. This enabled the Navy to use a metric inch measurement.
Where land is concerned we measure in Rods, with Acres & Hectors forming the primary area measurements. Ordnance Survey maps show elevation in feet but are slowly changing over to metres, this is to provide the pilot with a valid excuse when he fly's into the side of the mountain.
Suits are purchased in chest & waist measurement sizes in Short, Regular or Long, what ever that means and shirts are categorised by collar sizes. Shoes have a code all of their own, to which there is no point learning as those Foreigners the Europeans are intent on changing
The sizes that really matter have not changed as every young mans dream is to get his hands on a 38-24-36 body. Convert that to metric and it does not have the same appeal. Bust sizes are measured alphabetically with a DD providing something to bury your head in and shut out this crazy world.
Why all this confusion you may well ask, well consider perhaps God is a Woman
Not a lot of people knows that.... as Michael Caine would say
No wonder that we lost an empire
Simply Steve
