Collecting Green Smarties
Most of the younger sailors I have served with had one thing in common, they all had a "sweet tooth" for chocolate, hard candy and other type of sweets. Most would spend a "small fortune" at the ships N.A.A.F.I (Navy, Army, and Air-Force Institute) shop. In the Royal Navy the generic name for all types of confectionery was "Nutty".
During a six months sea deployment, one particular Junior Rate, John a Naval Airman, would always ask his shipmates for the green Smarties from out of their newly purchased tube. Smarties are sold in the USA under the trade name "M & M".
Normally his shipmates would hand-over their tube of Smarties for John to sort out the green ones. This behaviour was considered eccentric, especially as John would never eat them, he would just stow the green Smarties away.
This behaviour carried on for months, until a messmate noticed that John had a bag of green Smarties in his locker that must have contained a thousand. Finally one of Johns messmates could no longer control his curiosity, and in front of the entire mess asked John why did he need so many Smarties and more importantly why just the green ones??
"Oh" said John, "As you appreciate I have two young children at home, the Smarties are for them". Well the mess could understand the need to take some "Nutty" home for the kids, but why just green Smarties??
"Well" said John, "When I get home I throw them over the front lawn, so the kids have to find them. This will give my wife and I at least an hour of privacy for a cuddle without the kids disturbing us"
There followed a "panic buying" session of Smarties until the N.A.A.F.I shop's stock was exhausted.
Simply Steve