The Hospital Matron
Some years ago, I found myself incarcerated in a Royal Naval Hospital at Haslar Gosport. An experience not to be recommended as it is no accident that we refer to naval doctors as "Sawbones" or "vets" and we do not mean veterans.
Well as we know, there is always someone worse off than us. Sure enough in the next bed to me was a Navy Chief only 28 years old. He had MS and was now facing loss of career and life in a wheelchair. Obviously he was depressed as he came to terms with his handicap.
Then the Doctors tell him that a Harley Street specialist (These are our top doctors) would be coming to see him, but not for six weeks. However, this visit would be the start of his new life.
So he waits patiently until the day of the visit. Where upon he gets his haircut, showers and shaves. Presenting himself in full dress uniform and he was "as smart as a guardsman". The Chief was excited at this visit which would then allow him to get on with his life within the confines of his handicap.
Half an hour before the appointment was due, the doctors inform the Chief that the specialist could not come today and as yet there was no other fixed appointment for this visit. The Chief had a few colourful words for the doctors and feeling let down became angry and depressed. The medical profession had no choice but to leave the man alone until his anger subsided.
However this was the day when that prehistoric Dinosaur left over from Florence Nightingale "The Matron" commonly referred to as "The Dragon" was to do her "rounds" of the ward. Clearly the doctors had warned her that the Chief was pissed off and Angry. She was advised not to approach the Chief today.
The matron spoke with me and passed the Chief by without saying a word. Then she stops, thinks, and turns round to speak to the Chief. The Tension could be felt as she foolishly asks the Chief "How are you today, and have you any problems"?
Instead of an angry outburst, the Chief quietly replies that he had a minor problem as he was falling in love with one of the nurses who looked after him on a daily basis. He explained that he was married and yet was falling in love with his nurse.
The Matron speaks softly to him and explains that the nurses on this ward were particularly pretty and it was a very natural thing for a man to become "attached" to his nurse. But once he left the Hospital these feelings would soon pass as real life takes over. The Matron with a smug smile walked away.
She then turned, looking for the gossip, and asked the Chief, "Which particular nurse are you in love with."
Quietly the Chief pointed to a six foot six, 250 pound, Black, MALE Nurse
The Matron went bright red and ran off.
The chief quietly smiled.
So we may lose lots with all this medical stuff, but you must never lose your sense of humour, as that is the one thing they cannot take from you.
Simply Steve